| by Lars Peterson,
Iowa SBDC In conflict situations, family business members often swing between two extremes—"Maybe if we don't talk about it, the problem will go away" and "Maybe if I just yell a little louder, they will actually hear me." Neither approach works well as a long-term strategy for dealing with conflict. Take a moment to think about your last conflict. Do words like "pleasant," "fun" or "exciting" come to mind? Probably not. If you are like most people, the words "mad," "frustrated" and "scared" describe your experience more closely. These highly charged and negative feelings often lead people to wait until a simmering conflict reaches the boiling point before taking action—which is often too late to achieve the desired outcome. How is this different in a family business? Although the conflict triggers are the same, family members also bring the past into their daily interactions with family members. This means that if family members grew up in a household with abundant cooperation and little conflict, the business may reflect this. Likewise, if there was conflict, sibling rivalry, unresolved issues with parents or other difficult issues, unresolved feelings can color present events and lead to increased conflict. This increased conflict then leads to decreased communication, lower productivity and strained relationships and can ultimately create a drag on business growth and profits. To find out if you need to spend more time addressing conflict in your business, first simply start paying attention to how conflicts (stated and unstated) affect your business and your employees. Often conflict goes "underground" and you have to be especially adept at finding symptoms. For example, are your employees complaining more? Has sick time increased? Are employees coming to you more often with problems that they should be able to solve themselves? If you are diligent about this, you may find that unresolved conflicts are more than just unpleasant annoyances; they actually affect the operations and success of your business. cheap hotels in NurnbergWhat should you do if the conflict involves you? Although a "cookie cutter" approach to conflict doesn't exist, try these steps: - First, take a few moments to pause and gauge what you are thinking and feeling. Are you angry? If so, what's beneath the anger—what is driving it? Are you feeling frustrated, unheard or unappreciated? Once you have identified your thoughts and feelings, ask yourself what you want—what needs to happen so that you can put this behind you?
- When you are clear about your feelings and what you want, meet with the other person(s) to gain an understanding of their viewpoint, as well as what they want or need. Try to really listen, paying attention to what they say and how they say it. Try not to enter into the conversation with preconceived ideas about the other person's agenda or position. It's surprising how many conflicts result from a simple "mis-communication."
- Finally, explore a variety of options and choose one that helps each of you get what you want. Don't automatically assume that this involves a 50/50 compromise. Often, when you creatively explore options, each of you can gain. It also helps to remember that you not only want to solve the present problem but to strengthen the relationship through this process.
If emotions are too high and you just can't talk about the issues, it's time to consider using a family business consultant or family business mediator. For more information about this option, you can contact the Small Business Development Center nearest you. > See also: Human Resources & Personnel |
